This sweet young lady is hurting pretty bad and having some bad health problems. Will you please pray for Holly? She is a super sweet and very spiritual young lady. She has dealt with pain that would make most men cry and had a great God honoring attitude. God bless you Holly!
Here is what she put on her blog today:
Alright, here it comes, Its been a while since a post has come with a ”read at your own risk” warning, but I really need to get some emotions out.
I dont know if I want to cry, beat my head against a wall, or just go to sleep and wake up hoping that my kidneys have magically been fixed. I went to the doctor today, praying that the Lord would give him wisdom to understand the problems I am having. I have begged God to heal me, and I understand that there is a purpose in His plan, and I am working hard at learning to be content with His design for me. I also know that there are plenty of people who would gladly trade places with me right now, and I shouldnt be complaining about a silly kidney….But, in the spirit of being honest, Im having a hard time.
One of my fav. verses in the Bible begins by asking a question that I have asked myself many times lately.
”Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted with in me?”
And my response is “I am tired of not understanding, and tired of doctors not searching for an answer, instead, just throwing any old treatment at me, and hoping it will be the one that works….but always finding, the answer is no”
The next part of the verse, is the part that brings me back to reality, and convicts my heart to trust Him more, it says:
“ hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God”
Who am I to question Gods plan? I am not saying that I have perfect peace about my situation, in fact, Im struggling. I want to feel better yesterday, and I wanted an answer for this a long time ago as well. But in that, I have the knowledge of a Savior, who designed me this way for a reason. He is my health, and with out Him, I am nothing. I am trying to focus on Him, and not my selfish wants…I want my countenance to reveal Him to others. I know that this blog surely doesnt do that…
It says “I will yet praise him”……I want that to be my testimony. I find it so easy to praise Him for the good things He has done for me, but I am still learning the “YET praise him” part.
Pretty sure Im going to regret posting this for everyone to see how unspiritual I really am…But its whats on my heart.
I will YET praise Him….though Im not sure I will always know how, or understand why…He is a good God, who loves me, and is worthy of all praise, for ALL things. Including the things that are hard for me to bear.